Children are precious gift to a family. The prosperity of any society and nation depends upon its children. The development of personalities of children directly affects a society. That’s why it is necessary to understand the nature of the children growth and development.
Child development can be defined as the process by which a child changes over time. It’s a journey from total dependence to full independence. Child development involves the biological, psychological, sociological and emotional changes that occur in human beings between birth to late childhood. During babyhood period development is significant as many of life milestone such as first words, develop emotional feeling through experiences, learning to crawl and learning to walk and so on. Early childhood typically ranges from 2 years to the age of 6 years; this is the most crucial year of a children life. Late childhood stage can extend from age of 6-12 or 13 years. Puberty or pre-adolescence period begins to form complex relationships, formation of personalities and explore their interest.
What is insecurity in childhood and how does it develop
We all have a moment of insecurity. Insecurity refers to feelings of self-doubt or apprehension that arise from perceived threats to one’s self-esteem or emotional stability and a feeling of uncertainty and inadequacy that can cause stress and anxiety about achievement, relationship, management of behaviors and skills, handle situations and manifest in all areas of life. Some of the signs of insecurity in childhood includes unhealthy perfectionism, overly competitive, people pleaser, detached from others, loud inner critic, get offended easily, too self-aware, self-doubt, inferiority complex, fear of mistakes or failure, uneasy to face challenges, defensiveness, lack of truth in others, tension, self-talk negatively, difficulty in setting healthy boundaries in relationships, withdrawn or isolation, overreactions, self-critical, counting the failures, comparison and lack of confidence
If a child perceives that his or her needs are not met, the child is not able to build a secure and stable attachment with the caregivers. These ultimate results to form distorted personality.
According to psychiatrist and psychologist, John Bowl by, A child early relationship with the caregivers forms the way the child will approach to social development and relationships throughout life.
There are three forms of insecure attachment styles. They are:
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Anxious-Ambivalent:
It is a painful and confusing pattern or style of attachment with whom a child builds a relationship. This attachment style’s is often developed from the early experiences with the caregivers. A child has an overwhelming desire for connection along with a deep-seated fear of being rejected and ignored. This is caused due to inconsistent parental behavior, where responses to the child’s needs are unpredictable and unreliable. For this reason, the child starts to feel distrustful to their parents. They are often insecure about exploring their world and for this they find it hard to settle with groups of children.
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Anxious-Avoidant:
This adjustment pattern is characterized by distancing themselves from others to avoid emotional closeness or relationship on being fear of rejection or abandonment. It developed in the first 18 months of life as well. During this formative period child caregivers may have been emotionally unavailable to them a lot of the time. Thus, a child behaved in a “Rejecting manner” and lead to pre-mature sense of independence in children.
In response to the care givers actions the avoidant child learns that seeking out their caregivers from comfort when upset or afraid is a fruitless activity. Thus, they suppressed their innate potentials or desires because they have learned at the early age those outward displays of emotion will likely lead to rejections, scores or punishment. Through suppressing their needs to express their emotions they are at least able to fulfill one of their needs, they will be able to maintain closeness of their caregiver. Children who grow up in this type of emotionally barrier environment tend to feel rejection. As a result, they shut down their attachment system and develop an insecure attachment. This means that they disconnect from their needs, emotionally, they themselves on time, they develop a false sense of independence. This leads them to feel like they don’t need the support of other people in their lives. They are self-contained “Little Adult” and rarely show any signs of needing closeness, love and nurturance.
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Fearful-Avoidant:
It is often caused by the experienced of trauma or abuse. During this formative period a child’s caregiver may have behaved chaotically or bizarrely sometimes the parents could have behaved aggressively, causing the child to see them as ‘scary’.
Here, the caregivers often exhibit contracting and unpredictable behaviors. For example, they/parents might be highly love at times but on the occasions, they might not even meet the child’s basic needs. As a result, this creates a sense of fear within a child for their own safely. Thus, child subconsciously realise that caregiver cannot meet their needs. As a result, they may lack confidence in their own ability to successfully deal any situation.
Effects:
Insecurities can have many effects on children. Some of them are:
- Mental Health:
Imagine stepping into each day with a nagging feeling that the child think that he is not good enough, that does not belong to him, or others are judging him or develop inferiority complex. These feelings can be a heavy burden to carry and can significantly impact a person’s mental well-being. Insecurity often stems from various sources, including past experiences, personal comparison, overreactions, self-critical, counting the failures and societal pressure, Lack of external support, unresolved parental conflict, long lasting difficulties in the areas of academic performance, difficulty in emotional management and managing behavior, difficult to form healthy relationship with friends and parents, fear of rejection, frightening during childhood period. When individuals experience insecurity, they may find themselves trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts and can contribute to mental health issues like depression, low-esteem, anxiety and eating disorder. Negative thoughts can lead to anxiety as the fear of being judged and rejection looms large. When children do not believe in their own worth, they may struggle to assert themselves in personal and healthy relationships. This can lead to lack of fulfillment and dissatisfaction in various aspects of life, including activities and friendships. Stress and anxiety can lead to sleep disturbances, eating disorder and mental health issues. Mind and body are interconnected, and when one is affected, the other often follows. Some individuals may turn to substance use or other unhealthy behaviors to escape their feelings of inadequacy. This can create a cycle that is difficult to break, further impacting physical health, mental health and overall quality of life. Recognizing the impact of insecurity on mental health issues is the first step towards addressing it. Ultimately, understanding how insecurity affects mental health is essential for child personal growth and well-being.
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Attachment:
Children express their feelings freely and have affection for their parents, siblings and family members. If the caregivers are unresponsive or unavailable, unstable or unpredictable to their children’s relationships which lead to excessive anxiety, angry and a longing to be care for, these scenarios that forms the relationship throughout their life. Insecure attachment can occur when a child development is not reliable with their primary caregiver. Leading to difficulties, emotional regulation and relationship building later on. Several factors contributing insecurity attachment. One primary cost of insecurity attachment is giving inconsistence care giving. When a caregiver is nurturing and sometime neglectful or intrusive the child becomes confused about what to expect. This unpredictability can develop to anxiety, insecurity and lack of trust which lead to insecure emotional attachment and even the child may learn to either cling to the caregiver or withdraw entirely. In case, caregiver struggle with mental health issues or busy with their own work may be less available to meet the emotional needs of their child. This bond resulting in feelings of insecurity. Children who experience abuse, neglect and significant lost develop insecurity attachment as a way to cope with their environment. These experiences lead to a lack of trust in others and difficulty in forming healthy relationship.
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Behavior:
Children who have experienced physical, cognitive or emotional neglect, say because their caregivers were sick or busy, often face anxiety. As a result, their body produce stress hormones. These hormones become toxic for their developing brain, which then later can repress emotional and cognitive well-being for life. Emotional neglect and anxiety lead to an excessive production of the stress hormones known as adrenaline and cortisol, which is like poison for the developing brain. Experience insecurity attachment distorted the children’s understanding of love and human relationships. They learned to trust nobody and as adults, often suffered from depression, insomnia and social anxiety.
Stressful situations make an individual immense to certain difficulties and by exposure and its situations are involved failure or frustration due to mistake or ignorance. Insecurity attached children may have difficulty regulating their emotions which can put them at risk of developing feelings of fear and anger. They may be also more likely to develop problem behaviors. An excessive used of them is very harmful which led to mental illness like psychoses, neuroses, juvenile delinquency and various forms of maladjustment.
- Academic Achievement:
Ignorance or illiterate caregivers cannot be in a position of giving guidance and teach to their children, so in the guess if they are in the position to teach their children, they cannot motivate and also unable to inspire their children, they can only say the word ‘study’. When the child has problem in particular subject the illiterate caregiver unable to help in solving the child’s problems and not in a position to encourage when they are struggling with their study so children are helpless and that lead toward poor academic performance contribute to feeling of insecurity in several ways. In some families, caregivers do not understand the importance of quality education so they think only for themselves how to earn and support their families that though make their children to help out in their work if the child is not interested in studies or weak in studies.
Academic performance of children is the product of socio-economic, psychological and environmental factors. Children faced various types of non-intellectual factors like stress, anxiety and others psychological and sociological factors which affects their academic achievement. A child faulty method of learning might have been the cause of his repeated failure. A child with the continuous list of failure is likely to be unhappy and lead towards losing of interest in study. The longer the stress, greater in the harm. Childhood insecurity can have long term adverse effects on cognitive and socio-emotional development even years after emotional development even years after the child transition.
According to World Health Organisation (WHO), “Mental health is a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community.”
Insecurity and lack of confidence are not innate traits but are typically developed through life experiences, interaction and environment. Therefore, parents should always be there for them at all cost, no matter how many mistakes a child makes, teach them how to love themselves and do not let people’s criticism and negative emotion get them low. A good parent never uses harsh words to straighten their children out. Showing unconditional love to them is the key to child’s develop secure feelings and the best way to help overcome child insecurity is by creating a safe-affectionate space for them at home while making them aware of the realities of the world and preparing them for future competitions.
The writer is a faculty at the, Department of Education, St. Joseph College Ukhrul
